A Mother's Love...

I friend was relaying to me a scene at the hospital between a sick mom and her rebellious adult child.  At first I was taken back by the fact that the child, who has caused nothing but stress and grief for years, was even at the mom's bedside.  Of course the child was remorseful and looking for acceptance and wanted to reconcile with her sick mother.  The story continued to include mom and child embracing, tears flowing, and the need for multiple tissues.  Initally, I walked away from the conversation rather appalled that the child would take advantage of her sick mother to try and weasel her way back into mom's good graces.  

In another conversation with my friend, she challenged me to evaluate my relationship with my own kids. (I have two adult sons and two beautiful daughter-in-laws).   She feared that I was becoming THAT mom.  I spent two days crying and praying.  Was I becoming THAT mom?  You know, the one who's children fear her!?  The one who's kids only came around because they feel obligated!  The one who's  kids are afraid of a guilt trip if mom doesn't get her way?!?

These two conversations made me really think about what it is to be a mom.  I've realized that no one can truly understand the dynamic between a mother and a child.  I'm the mom and sometimes I don't even completely understand why I am so emotional or stubborn about some things when it comes to my kids.  Not even another mother can know and completely understand what is between my children and me.  A mother's love is not something that I can tell you about and that you apply to your life.  It's not something that can be learned from a book.  It's more than knowledge, it's more than feelings, it's more than spiritual.  A mother's love is different from generation to generation, family to family, and from one child to the next.  A mother's love is a combination of raw emotion, experience, trust, instinct, and God's grace.  A Christian mom has the blessing of being filled with the Holy Spirit and guided by faith in Christ.  A mother's love is forgiveness, acceptance, and restoration when no one else can understand why.  A mother's love is about being the biggest cheerleader and the harshest critic...occasionally even at the same time.  

Yes, I am a little crazy, yes, I can be overbearing. But my boys have assured me that I am NOT becoming THAT mom.  They told us that they genuinely enjoy spending time with me and actually look forward to seeing their parents.  (Just to be sure, my husband asked the official question....with the promise to "break it to mom easy" if needed on the boys behalf.)

I thought back to that mom in the hospital.  I imagined myself in her place.  Even after the worst of disagreements with my boys, and there have been a few hum-dingers, I've always prayed for restoration.  It's not something that "the world" would understand, but it's what a mother's love longs for.  It seems like a crazy place to put yourself, setting yourself up to be hurt, to be taken advantage of, or to end up disappointed, but for a mom, it's all worth it.  And it's a mirror of the Father's love for us!  What an example that mom is to her child, even if she doesn't realize it.  Unconditional love is a gift from God, the sacrifice of Christ, and this sick mom in her hospital bed was showing that unconditional love to her child.  

A strong family bond and time together is something I am thankful for and will try very hard to never take for granted. But, if our family should ever find ourselves in a broken place, I pray I have the strength that mom in the hospital had...a mother's love...a picture of Christ's love....and a heart to forgive.

Prayer requests - 

For many to come to know Christ this Easter season

For strength in my marriage and the marriages of my children

For restoration of health, wisdom, and a strong faith for the mom that was in the hospital

For opportunities to be a faithful believer and strong friend to those God has placed in my life 

The Little Things In My Life!

It's the little things in my life that make my heart sing.

Dinner with friends...the kind of time where you forget you are in a restaurant full of people and laugh a little too loud, or lose track of time and sit talking for hours.

Shopping with my mom, or my daughters-in-law....the kind of bargain hunting that makes you feel like you have really accomplished something, a fist-pump kind of coupon, a deal that beats all deals!

Coffee with my hubby....a cup of coffee that give way to a great conversation that allows me to see the heart of the man I fell in love with, learn new things from him, and fall in love even more.  

Prayer with other believers....a time of sharing, fellowship, and heartfelt prayer, together, growing in faith, laying it bare at the foot of the cross.

Laughing with my granddaughter....clapping, blah-blah-blahing, walking, and giggling with a precious little life,  wondering what her future will bring at a year, two, ten, or more, imagining more grandchildren or simply this one and a gaggle of her friends, knowing no matter what, it's a blessing!

Snuggling with the cat...what was God thinking when he created the purr?  Soft, sweet fur balls that snuggle and purr.

Worship....singing and praising God with a church full of people, learning, healing, growing, failing, and forgiving together.  

That song on the radio...the one that brings back a memory from way back when and makes me cry or laugh or simply sing along.

There are so many of The Little Things In My Life that may not mean a thing to anyone else, but are the world to me.

A man that my husband works with died last week.  We are not sure how he died, but it was a bold reminder to appreciate the little things in life.  Rick was expected at work the other morning and never showed up.  A friend and coworker went by the house later in the day to check on him and ended up calling the police.  Rick was found dead in his bed.  Imagine going to bed tonight and not waking in the morning.  

If you didn't wake in the morning, first, and most important, where is your personal relationship with Christ?  Do you admit you are a sinner?  Do you believe that Christ died to forgive that sin?  Have you confessed your sin and committed your life to Christ?  If not, you need to get that sorted out.  

Second, what are the little things that others would miss about you?  Are you patient?  Kind?  Are you a gossip?  Gruff with others?  Do you show the love of Christ or the bitterness of a lost soul?  

I am praying that when I am called to be with Jesus,  people will say they saw the love of Christ in my life.  I pray I will hear the words, "Good and faithful servant."  I know that He has shown Himself to me over and over and over through all The Little Things In My Life!  How has He shown Himself to you today?  This week?  How will others see Him through you?

Praying for my family, for Matt and Rachel as they decide on Matt's school schedule and job choices, for Marc and Herta and the ever looming immigration decisions, for my extended family's personal relationships with Christ...it's one thing to know about God, it's another to make it personal.

Praying for my church, for ongoing upgrades and improvements around the building, for all the different ministries and the people involved in them, for the paid staff and the volunteers that make worship happen every week, for the Pastors, Elders, and Deacons that teach and lead the flock.

Praying for my community, for those who I call neighbors and still don't reach out to, for those who are lost, hungry, and needing right here.

Everyday Hero's

Being "grounded" by my family and coworkers until I'm healthy, I've watched more daytime tv than I normally would....today I'm watching the Katie show on abc.  She is interviewing Captain Sully Sullenberger, the pilot that managed an emergency landing on the Hudson river in 2009.

Listening to his interview I am so reminded of my Dad.  Sully talks softly of not thinking of himself as a hero but instead of how thankful he is for all the people who did their jobs very well that day.  I am encouraged by this man because he found himself in an extraordinary situation and simply did his best with what God gave him that day.  

This is a re-post about my hero...who's your hero and why?

When I was 18 years old I went to Florida to visit my birth certificate Father. His name was John. 

John was an alcoholic. About four days into my trip, John went on a bender. Halfway through the fifth of vodka he started calling me Sandy; my moms name. He and my mom divorced when I was a toddler. Mom decided she had enough abuse and wanted to protect me. John hated Sandy so, I kind of knew the visit was heading south. It was early but I decided to go to bed anyway. That way "Sandy" wouldn't be around to bother John while he finished off the fifth. 

Sometime in the wee hours of the night John came searching for "Sandy" and I ended up locked in my bedroom with a drunk on the other side of the door. In a panic, I called home. That's when I met my hero. 

My hero had actually come into my life about five or six years before that but I didn't realize he was my hero, yet. He started dating my mom and quickly figured out that she was a package deal. While they were dating I got to see Cats, Evita, and Annie all at the Fox Theatre. I got to go sledding, to the movies, and out to some very spiffy restaurants. My hero made every attempt to woo us both ;) all the courting worked on my mom! Eventually my hero married my mom...and I hated him!

My hero never did anything wrong to me. He took me right along with my mom when they wed. He provided a wonderful home, love and care, and security. I don't know what my problem was, but I rebelled. I told him I hated him almost daily and made his life with my mom as difficult as I could. From 13-18 I was horrible to my hero. In a power play that only a snitty 18 year old could plot, i came up with the ultimate rebellion--go visit my "real" father! Off I was to Florida...not a very good plan but, I guess it was just the way God intended to really introduce me to my hero. 

So, there I was, panicked, in the middle of the night, on a long distance call from Florida to Michigan. As soon as my mom heard the tears in my voice she flashed to all the pain John had put her through and feared I was going to have to endure a similar fate. She was upset and afraid and ended up passing the phone to my hero because she felt helpless. 

My hero never missed a beat. After five years of my attitude he could have easily hung up the phone and never felt an ounce of guilt.

But he didn't. 

Somehow he knew exactly what to do. In what seemed like only minutes the police were at the house and an officer was helping me pack my things. My hero booked me a hotel room overnight, convinced an officer to guard it, had me escorted to the airport the following morning and on a flight back to my mom by the afternoon. My hero rescued me when he had every right to let me fall. 

It wasn't an instant realization that my hero was my hero. I didn't really get it until I had kids of my own. But looking back, that was the moment that changed everything. 

Over the years my hero taught me about forgiveness and hope, tenderness and how to hold my own. He taught me patience and understanding. Bless his heart, he even taught me algebra :) and the fahrenheit to Celsius conversion formula. 

My hero helped me grow in my faith and modeled the love of Christ through his daily actions toward me. 

My hero is my champion when i don't deserve one. Loves me when I am unloveable and accepts me when i am unacceptable. My hero is my biggest cheerleader and my most gentle critic. 

When it was time, my hero let go of my hand and taught me to cling to my husband. He helped me to see all the potential in my new family. He encouraged us in our marriage and has entrusted his "cape and hero status" to my wonderful husband. Somehow he knows just how far to let us fly on our own and when to help us reel it in. 

My hero is my Dad. And, my hero is dying.

Our time together is so short now. There are so many moments since that night he rescued me; I beg God I never forget! So many lessons and laughs!! 

So how do you say goodbye to a hero? I can't. 

My only hope is in Christ. My hero and I both have faith in Christ. It is by grace, through faith in Christ, that I believe I will not have to say goodbye. Instead, it will simply be an "I love you and so long for now! See you in heaven!" 

All of this to say, you don't have to say goodbye either. Faith in Christ pays the debt that sends us to hell for our sin and separates us from our God. Faith in Christ reunites those who love HIM in heaven someday. If you do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ, if you do not have hope in Christ, please call out to God to save you even now. 

Jerry Springer, Reality TV. and Real Life

Back in the day, I would wake up early on Saturday morning, head to the kitchen and fish a box of sugary cereal out of the cupboard, snag the milk and a bowl and go sit in the living room and watch cartoons until my mom woke up.  The choices were 2, 4, 7, 9, 20, 50, 56, or 62.  That was it.  There wasn't a whole lot of educational value but, it was funny and kept me entertained.

I'm not going to pretend that there weren't controversies on television back in the day.  I remember there was a bit of concern because every Saturday morning children were watching a coyote basically commit suicide in the pursuit of murdering a roadrunner. There was also the level of violence portrayed on the Tom and Jerry show.  And we can't forget the sexual undertones of the Love Boat or the mystical undertones of Fantasy Island...scandalous...every Saturday night from 9-11pm!

Oh, and it was a HUGE big deal when I would be allowed to stay up with my grandpa and watch Hockey Night in Canada. I use to love the Peter Puck cartoons!  Sometimes the games would run so late that after it was over the national anthem would play and then the ant fights would start (that's the technical term for screen fuzz when the station would go off the air).

Today we have 100's of channels that air shows 24 hours a day.  And the violence of the coyote killing off the roadrunner has been replaced by two baby momma's duking it out over a drug addicted, unemployed baby daddy on Jerry Springer.   It's sad.  It's also addictive.  I struggle, big time, with television.  Even as I type it's on in the background with a Bravo Real Housewives show babbling on about useless things.  

I'm not sure if the news channels are really any better because they report the news like it's a reality tv show. Clips and captions written and promoted as if they are the pins and points that all of our lives should pivot on. The reality of reality tv is that it doesn't represent reality!  It highlights the most extreme version of any people group and then exploits it for monetary gain.  Sadly people watch this and are convinced this is the norm and that they need to model this craziness in real life.  

Here is the difference between when I was a child and now:  40 years ago people viewed television as an entertainment resource like bowling, the movies, or a sporting event.  Today, people view television as an educational resource that replaces personal experiences, encyclopedias, and classrooms.

I don't think we need to be extreme and eliminate television but, I do believe we need to realize that it is entertainment and not education.  We need to remind the next generation that they have a choice.  They can live like they are on a Jerry Springer episode; fighting, throwing things, stomping off, solving little or nothing.  Or, they can live a real life.  

Real life means loving your neighbor as yourself.  Putting others first.  Loving your spouse because it is commanded and not a feeling that comes and goes.  Real life means taking responsibility for yourself and being accountable to those around you.  Real life is founded on a personal relationship with Christ.  Based in faith, grown in honesty, and blooming with generosity, real life is almost completely opposite from anything shown in reality tv.

Your thoughts?

Is it worth it?

Looking back at the calendar I realized that I've been sick pretty much non-stop since the end of November.    I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

As part of my chronological Bible reading plan,  I've been in the book of Job.  I've read it in King James, NIV, ESV, and now in the Message.  At first I thought it was the snot clogging up my brain but I quickly realized,  no matter the version I've been reading, I've never completely understood all Job and his friends are talking about.  Even in the message version, which doesn't have a thee or a thou in any of it's writing, I am still confused.  Fortunately, what I've always taken away from reading Job, is that all he was blessed with on earth was taken from him and he never cursed God for it.  Job knew where his heart's desire should be and that is where he kept his focus. He knew it would be worth it.

I haven't cursed God, but I sure have asked him, begged him actually, to take these illnesses away from me.  I'm not fighting for my life, just for my comfort, yet I complain.  I want back my comfy, non-sniffing, non-snotty world!

Christ left the comforts of heaven to be a dirty, hungry, stinky human.  Tradition says that he was likely a carpenter with his father.  I'm guessing he got splinters, hit his thumb once or twice with a hammer, stepped on a nail, dealt with a few of the things that come along with the trade.  Thank God he didn't throw in the towel and say, "That's it, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!"  Instead he knowingly went through being betrayed by a friend, a beating, a crown of thorns, and death by crucifixion.  When He rose again and defeated death, He did that because we are his heart's desire and that is where he kept his focus.  He knew it would be worth it.

I'm pretty sure I caught this last cold from my grand daughter.  She is amazing and when she sees me she gets a huge grin on her face and laughs or waves.  She actually recognizes me and is excited to see me.  Melts my heart every time.  When I saw her the other night, the symptoms of her cold were prominent and it was obvious that she was uncomfortable.  When my boys were young and would get sick, it made my heart ache to see them struggle.  To see my grand child ill; ten times worse than my own child.

For as much as my heart ached the other night for my grand daughter to feel better, it aches even worse for her future.  She is going to face so many difficulties in life.  Just as fast as our world becomes "smarter" it seems to become darker, more twisted, and more sinful.  I can't stop her from getting a cold.  I can't stop her from facing the craziness of this world.  I certainly can't protect her the way I'd like...I've been told bubble wrap and a guard dog are out of the question...

The only way she will make it is if Christ is her heart's desire and that is where she keeps her eyes.  She needs to know He is worth it.

And, it's not just my grand daughter. This world is lost.  I can't be sick and tired and expect someone else to fix it.   So, I am praying that God would show me what to do next.  I know my heart's desire is Christ.  I am going to keep my eyes on Him.  And I am going to be intentional in how I share that desire with my grand daughter and the world.   I have the feeling it's going to take me way outside of my comfort zone but I have faith that YES! it will be worth it!

Praying:
 - for direction on how to be most effective for Christ in my community, with my friends, and with my family
 - for my kids and their new marriages as I, PRAISE GOD, celebrate my 23rd anniversary today!
 - for a friend who is balancing caring for his grown child with health issues while he faces his own health issues
 - for a friend who is facing challenging times as a mom, that God would bless her decisions and give her words to encourage and guide her children
 - for friends who are dating, that God would guide their relationships
 - for a friend who is dealing with a laundry list of random and seemingly unrelated but annoying health issues
 - for the start of the James Bible study on Monday evenings and our fearless leader

Praise:
 - for all kinds of answered prayers this week! Big and small, He hears them all!
 - for an encouraging work week, meetings, and positive conversations

The Challenge

God has been working on my a lot lately.  There are a number of things that I have complained about and done nothing to change for far too long.  A good friend has pointed out to me...MANY TIMES...that the only way to make a real difference is to take it to the Lord and ask Him to change me. For me, and I know this isn't for everyone, participating in prayer meeting is a huge tool to keep my heart and mind focused on the greatness of my God and off my issues.

So, this morning I ventured out to Prayer Breakfast at Crosspointe.  It's a small group who meet each Saturday morning at 7:30am....yes, 7:30am on a Saturday....geesh....and have a time of fellowship, food, a video message, and prayer.  The prayer time was wonderful.  It feels great to be able to freely lift our concerns to Christ and KNOW he hears us but for me this morning, it was the message in the video that was the blessing.

The video was a message on Elijah and Ahab (1 Kings 18) and it contained a challenge not be be on the fence with one foot in the Baal (worldly) camp and one foot in the God camp.  Let me catch you up on the story - - Elijah predicts a drought.  Ahab comes to Elijah and blames him for the drought (v17).  In turn Elijah lets Ahab know that it's not himself that's to blame, but Ahab and all those who have abandoned God to follow Baal (v18).  Elijah has Ahab gather all the Baal believers and challenges them to get off the fence between faith in God and faith in Baal.  He even goes so far as to set up two offerings and tells the believers of Baal to call upon their god and Elijah will call on his God and they will see who is the real God.  Guess what, Baal failed...God wins (v38)! And everyone who saw it believed!

So the challenge then was to get off the fence.  The challenge now is to get off the fence.  As Americans we are trained to hedge our bets.  We are taught to analyze all options and choose the path of least resistance.  But that is totally opposite of what God expects and wants from us!  We are called to follow hard after Him.  We are called to take the narrow path.  We are called to be individuals, not part of the crowd, and most certainly not to sit on the fence!

Today, I am making a choice to get off the fence.  I'm not sure what that will look like in the long run, but I do not want to be a neutral, lukewarm, on the fence Christian. I'm praying for all of you, my dear friends, to be different, to live for the Lord and get off the fence.  I'm asking you to pray for me as I work on my own fence sitting and step out to be more passionate for Christ.

Oh, and Saturday morning prayer meeting, I think YOU should join me there next Saturday!  :)  Good grief, if I can get up to pray at 7:30 in the morning anyone can  ;)

A friend suggested that I start journaling my prayer requests, praises, life events, and more as a way to work through some of the stress and emotional baggage I've collected in 2012.  I've tried to sit and write.  My friend said the pencil to paper is more effective than typing.  And of course, a journal is supposed to be private, a place where you can write anything.  Anyone who knows me knows I live my life out loud.  There isn't much of anything that isn't public, so when it came time to really start pouring my guts out into a notebook, it just felt awkward.  Actually, it felt stressful!  And isn't the point of journaling to relieve stress?

So, here I am blogging.  I'm not sure if anyone will ever lay eyes on this but it feels good to tick, tick, tap, tap, tick, tap on the keys and produce a paragraph on the screen in front of me.  Way less stressful than trying to write it down.  Maybe I'll mature into a "real" journaler with a pencil and paper someday, but for now, I shall type and post.

I really don't like new year resolutions because it practically guarantees an auto fail for most things I try to accomplish.  But one of the Bible reading plans I wanted to work on actually starts on the first of the year and is easiest to track by the date so I sort of made a resolution, by default, to read through the Bible in a year using this chronological plan.  I'm in for all 365!  Anyone wanna join me?

Praises for today
- - an excellent meeting with coworkers that got sidetracked into a brainstorming session
- - got my home straightened out a little more from the Rance Family Christmas chaos of last Sunday
- - feeling sooooo much better, bronchitis is on the way out and tummy is on the mend form stomach flu
- - my hubby is super sweet and although he didn't do anything particularly special today, he is a praise!!
- - made it to the gym and spent some time sweating and didn't stoke out  LOL

Prayers for today
- - praying for myself and family members who continue to struggle with the loss of my Dad and Aunt
- - praying for a friend who's doc found a lump and now faces testing and mammogram
- - praying for friend who's dad is in hospice
- - praying for a friend who's little one is running an up and down fever
- - praying for my family to stay healthy and strong: physically, mentally, and spirtitually
- - praying for stick-to-it-tive-ness to overcome my life
- - praying for clarity and direction on what God wants me to do now that I have an empty nest
- - praying for those who are grieving Patrick's passing
- - praying for my kids: good work, own homes, growth with spouses, enjoyment of married life

Random stuff
- - I am looking forward to Revenge and Once Upon A Time on TV next Sunday
- - I am excited to see what God has planned for me in 2013: so many passions ignited, what flames will burn out and what will catch and spread?!
- - I have an itch to make something with the fabric on the sewing table

I've about typed myself out for today.  Not sure how often I will do this but it DOES feel GOOD to get it all out!!

One of my favorite songs...just thought I'd share!

Ephesians 6:7
L  :)